Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for so many reasons. First, it was the weekend that I was married, almost twenty-three years ago. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who has always encouraged me to live my dreams. For that, I am forever grateful. It also is a holiday filled with some very enjoyable traditions. I will share mine here, and ask that each of you share one or two special traditions that make this holiday important to you as well. If you haven’t found a way to enliven the day with your own sense of spirit and fun, please think about what you can do to take it up a notch – really put the pizzazz into your Thanksgiving with interpersonal touches that embrace the warm sense of the holiday’s intention, to be thankful for all that surrounds you.
Our typical Thanksgiving begins early. My husband makes a killer apple pancake, and we invite one family to enjoy the breakfast, friends from my husband’s childhood who have joined us for more than ten years now. They bring the milk and orange juice (pulp free of course) and we supply the rest. The kids eat, then run off and enjoy the special time together, playing games, watching the Thanksgiving Day parade, and creating treasure hunts. After the table is cleared, my friend and I first scavenge through the coupons that fill the newspaper, and then compare size of turkeys, cooking methods, and preparation times. The men sit on the couch, reading the paper and watching the football pre-game show.
Guests arrive at 5 p.m. From the moment they come in, take-home containers in hand, there is chatter and laughter filling the house. The food is of course an important presence, but it’s the fun and connections that truly make the holiday special.
The Thanksgiving meal begins with each person at the table sharing what he or she is grateful for. My sister once gave us a small stone with the word “gratitude” engraved on it. It is passed around as everyone shares his or her blessings, praises life’s successes, cries happy tears for the joyous moments, and sad tears for those missing at the table. As a family and friends, we are growing up together, and sharing gratitude with each other holds very special meaning for us all.
After dinner, containers come out, and everyone fills them with leftovers. Each person who brings a dish makes sure to make extra so that the Thanksgiving meal can be enjoyed again, even if you aren’t the host of the party! And then the games begin. Anyone who comes to our house for Thanksgiving knows to bring a white elephant. This is a somewhat used, somewhat undesired left over item, carefully and beautifully wrapped. A game is played using dice, and the wrapped treasures are awarded if a six is rolled. Once all packages are accounted for, the gifts are opened and each person describes what is inside. There are typically some special gifts, like a vase or BBQ tools. And there are the really special gifts, the most sought after fish pen that comes back year after year or the George Foreman autograph, on a Foreman Grill postcard. Then the excitement starts as dice are once again tossed, and every six rolled allows the roller to steal a gift. When the timer goes off, what is in front of you is what you take home.
Following that craziness, the trivia contest starts. We pair up our guests somewhat randomly; one of the young guests is paired with an older guest. It’s a great way for two generations to bond and share fun and knowledge together. This year, we’re taking away all cell phones so Internet googling to find answers won’t give one team an advantage. Prizes are awarded, and laughter fills the air.
While every year brings stress and struggle in some form or another to everyone, it is most important to take time to reflect on the big or small gratitudes, successes, or triumphs in life. As you enjoy your Thanksgiving, whether on your own or in a group, please make sure to identify the positive influences in your life. If you don’t already have some traditions that make this holiday stand out, think about what you can do to bring special meaning to the day.
Don’t forget to add your comments here with your own gratitudes and traditions. Also, let me know if you would like to get more detailed instructions for the white elephant game or need some quick, easy recipes for stuffing, pies: pecan, pumpkin, French silk, and key lime; each pie has less than six ingredients and tastes fantastic. Most of all, know that each one of you reading this has, in some way or another, touched my life, and for that I am grateful.
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
On Notes Left Behind...
I just finished reading a very special book, Notes Left Behind, by Brooke and Keith Desserich. It was an inspiring and difficult read, as parents Brooke and Keith journal from the day of diagnosis through the death of their beautiful six-year-old daughter from pediatric brain cancer. The title refers to the wonderful collection of notes that Elena left for them, scattered throughout their home, hidden in bookcases, briefcases, and pillow cases, professing her love for her parents and sister. The painful process for these parents to continue on each day as their precious child fought gallantly for her life is heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The book is filled with reminders to parents to embrace each sacred moment you have with your children. Since I work to help children and parents notice the positives amidst the chaos of their everyday lives, the journal spoke to me on so many levels. We never know what tomorrow will bring, therefore it is so important to live each day as if it is the most precious one of your life.
Yesterday, I happened to call a friend at a critical point in her day. She was feeling the stress of life, and my lunch request was her ticket to break from the seriousness and enjoy a part of her afternoon. How it made me smile when, later that evening, I received a voice mail from her stating how valuable our friendship was and that, somehow, I had that sixth sense to call at just the right moment. She shared how important it was for her to make sure I knew all of this. How often do we think these thoughts, and then get on with our busy days? How often are the last words to our children, as they rush out the door in the morning, “You forgot to make your bed!” instead of “I love you and hope you have a great day!” When was the last time you told your spouse how valuable he is in your life, and why? Or called your sister, brother, or parents to let them know you were thinking of them?
Our lives are filled with financial worries, health concerns, parenting woes, relationship struggles, world chaos and day-to-day stress that can overwhelm any one of us at any minute. It would be easy to want to push the alarm button, pull the covers over our heads, and hide out from the new day of potential disasters. But instead, when you wake up tomorrow morning, walk into the bathroom, look into the mirror, and identify your strength. Whether it’s your caring eyes, your engaging smile, your kind, warm heart, or your wonderful pancakes – begin your day excited to share yourself with the world.
When you see your spouse or children for the first time tomorrow morning, don’t focus on the rush to get moving. Instead, cuddle, embrace, and share a warm thought. Most of you reading this will think to yourself, “Who has that kind of time?” Remind yourself that the two minutes of caring and connecting will actually speed up the tired child or create intimate warmth between you and your spouse. These little kindnesses really make a difference!
See what happens when you spend your day letting the people around you know that they have made a positive impact on your day. Thank the grocery clerk for her hard work, standing on her feet all day. Don’t talk on your cell phone while the bank teller waits on you; give him eye contact, and thank him for the good service. Let the car that is anxious to get in front of you do so, and smile as he passes by. Let go of the hostility, anger, rush, and worry, and replace it with patience, gratitude, warmth, and kindness. Feel the tension relax from the lines in your face as you continue this throughout your day. You will find a renewed sense of energy and bounce in your step!
Shifting our focus and attitude does not come easy. It takes practice and patience for us. But if the Desserich’s story has taught me anything, it is that everything we fret about is what we desire when we are facing tragedy in our lives. The bickering between siblings, the mundane chores, the long grocery line – how different do you look at those things when you realize it represents that your family is happy, healthy, or even just with you?
The book is filled with reminders to parents to embrace each sacred moment you have with your children. Since I work to help children and parents notice the positives amidst the chaos of their everyday lives, the journal spoke to me on so many levels. We never know what tomorrow will bring, therefore it is so important to live each day as if it is the most precious one of your life.
Yesterday, I happened to call a friend at a critical point in her day. She was feeling the stress of life, and my lunch request was her ticket to break from the seriousness and enjoy a part of her afternoon. How it made me smile when, later that evening, I received a voice mail from her stating how valuable our friendship was and that, somehow, I had that sixth sense to call at just the right moment. She shared how important it was for her to make sure I knew all of this. How often do we think these thoughts, and then get on with our busy days? How often are the last words to our children, as they rush out the door in the morning, “You forgot to make your bed!” instead of “I love you and hope you have a great day!” When was the last time you told your spouse how valuable he is in your life, and why? Or called your sister, brother, or parents to let them know you were thinking of them?
Our lives are filled with financial worries, health concerns, parenting woes, relationship struggles, world chaos and day-to-day stress that can overwhelm any one of us at any minute. It would be easy to want to push the alarm button, pull the covers over our heads, and hide out from the new day of potential disasters. But instead, when you wake up tomorrow morning, walk into the bathroom, look into the mirror, and identify your strength. Whether it’s your caring eyes, your engaging smile, your kind, warm heart, or your wonderful pancakes – begin your day excited to share yourself with the world.
When you see your spouse or children for the first time tomorrow morning, don’t focus on the rush to get moving. Instead, cuddle, embrace, and share a warm thought. Most of you reading this will think to yourself, “Who has that kind of time?” Remind yourself that the two minutes of caring and connecting will actually speed up the tired child or create intimate warmth between you and your spouse. These little kindnesses really make a difference!
See what happens when you spend your day letting the people around you know that they have made a positive impact on your day. Thank the grocery clerk for her hard work, standing on her feet all day. Don’t talk on your cell phone while the bank teller waits on you; give him eye contact, and thank him for the good service. Let the car that is anxious to get in front of you do so, and smile as he passes by. Let go of the hostility, anger, rush, and worry, and replace it with patience, gratitude, warmth, and kindness. Feel the tension relax from the lines in your face as you continue this throughout your day. You will find a renewed sense of energy and bounce in your step!
Shifting our focus and attitude does not come easy. It takes practice and patience for us. But if the Desserich’s story has taught me anything, it is that everything we fret about is what we desire when we are facing tragedy in our lives. The bickering between siblings, the mundane chores, the long grocery line – how different do you look at those things when you realize it represents that your family is happy, healthy, or even just with you?
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